For parents and educators

Warning signs

A young person in crisis often shows it in some way. Pay attention when you notice:

• Talk or writing about hurting themselves or others, or about death
• A sudden change in mood, sleep, eating, behavior or grades
• Pulling away from friends, family or activities they used to enjoy
• Talk of feeling hopeless, trapped, or like a burden
• An unusual interest in weapons or in past acts of violence
• Being bullied, isolated or left out, or bullying others

Online, watch for a sudden secret online friendship, anonymous gifts, or marks of self-harm. The FBI has published a plain list of warning signs for parents about violent online networks that target 10 to 17 year olds (FBI public service announcement, March 2025).

Trust your instincts. You do not need to be sure before you say something. For fuller, expert guidance, see the warning signs guide from Sandy Hook Promise and the 988 Lifeline.

How to report a concern

1. Immediate danger: call 911.
2. A threat, a weapon, or a student who may hurt themselves: contact SafeOregon. Call or text 844-472-3367, email tip@safeoregon.com, or report online. You can stay anonymous.
3. A worry that is not urgent: talk with the school counselor or principal.
4. Someone in emotional crisis, including you: call or text 988.
5. A teen who would rather talk with another teen: YouthLine, call 877-968-8491 or text 839863, 4 to 10 p.m. Pacific every day, with adults answering at other hours (YouthLine).

If your child tells you something

Most warnings reach other students first. In the Secret Service’s study of averted school attacks, classmates saw the warning signs in about two thirds of cases, and in two cases a student tried to tell a parent and was brushed off (U.S. Secret Service, Averting Targeted School Violence). An earlier study found that a parent’s reaction shaped whether a student spoke up again: one was told to mind his own business the day before a shooting at his school, while another came forward because her parents reassured her (U.S. Secret Service bystander study). If your child tells you something:

1. Thank them and stay calm. How you react decides whether they tell you next time.
2. Do not judge how serious it is yourself. Young people who later attacked often joked, repeated the threat, or sounded too extreme to be real.
3. Report it tonight. Call or text SafeOregon at 844-472-3367, email tip@safeoregon.com, or use the app or web form. A real person answers 24 hours a day, and you can stay anonymous.
4. If someone could be hurt right now, call 911.
5. If the child in crisis is your own, call or text 988, or walk into the Deschutes County Stabilization Center, 63311 NE Jamison Street, Bend, open 24 hours a day for all ages at no cost (Deschutes County).
6. Lock every firearm tonight. Use a locked container or a cable lock, keep ammunition separate, and change the combination if your child may know it. If the concern is about another family’s child, ask whether their guns are locked.
7. Tell the school counselor the next morning so the school can start its own process.
8. Keep the messages and screenshots.

Talking with kids after a tragedy

Children take their cues from the adults around them. These guides from child trauma and pediatric experts can help you find the words.

• National Child Traumatic Stress Network: talking to children about the shooting
• American Academy of Pediatrics: talking to children about tragedies

Bring Know the Signs to your school

Sandy Hook Promise offers its Know the Signs programs to schools at no cost. They include Start With Hello, which helps students reach out to classmates who are isolated, and Say Something, which teaches students to recognize warning signs and tell a trusted adult.

1. Talk with your principal or school counselor about the programs.
2. Sign up with us and choose “Help bring programs to my school.” We will connect you with others at your school.
3. Learn more about Start With Hello and Say Something, and request programs, at sandyhookpromise.org.